I must confess

So, I shop at Whole Foods (sometimes), but, I'm there a couple times a week. I like tasting soup. When I would meet Travis for lunch or something at Central Market, I would always try to get there ten minutes early in order to taste as many soups as I could without drawing too much attention to myself. 

The way the soups are set up at whole foods is much more convenient for an undercover non-customer, soup taster like me, because Whole Foods has 3 sets of at least 6 different soups genres around the store. So, you can choose from at least 18 soups and you can just go circle the store alternating stations to be unsuspecting. 

Well, I always get my soup tasting cups from the counter at the fish stand and go straight for either clam chowder or fisherman's style cioppino, but sometimes they have run out at the counter and you have to ask, but I don't like having to do that. Well, last week that happened and in the wine section I saw some wine tasting cups out for grabs...so I took 'em.

that's all

Submitted

Tyonce's Audition 480p from Becky Vander Ploeg on Vimeo.

After we made our first video for Tyonce to be cast on Rue Paul's Drag Race, we found out about some guidelines....so we mixed some new footage with some old for the final submission. We got it in today-tomorrow is the deadline. Everyone please keep your finger's crossed! 

*the new material begins at 2:40-7:11, and then at 10:35-12:00

enjoy

the last supper

So, a few weeks back I was discussing with some friends the topic of "what would you choose for your last supper?". After some thought I was equally torn between a chipotle with a margarita and an ice cream cone from McDonalds for dessert OR a sushi dinner; but those meals make me so happy that the dying part would be even harder, buttttt you want to die happy...so it's good.

well this this whole Reptar or whatever it's called thing coming, I'd like to ask my lovely Beckysay constituents: what are you having for dinner tonight?

See you on the flip side
xoxo

Sorry, no time to post any photos-I gotta go!

A funny thing happened on the way to the corner store

A couple days ago I heard this Akron/Family song called "So it Goes"and really liked it.

it goes:

I went away, away from this open heart,
Away from this place I started so long ago.
Out there I found, out in this lovely world,
So many people just like myself.
Just like them, I stopped giving my change,
To all the homeless people out on the street.
But I changed back. I give my change again,
To anyone who asks so long as I have a pocket.
Last night I saved $1.80 on ice-cream at Safeway,
a woman outside then asked me for a dollar-eighty,
Was it meant to be, an act of God or robbery,
I myself don't know, so it goes.

Then last night I went to Trudy's in a group of 12 and felt drowsy post meal. I decided to step out and buy a Redbull at the Botega down the way. As I was walking, I saw a transient looking man up ahead lying, smoking a cigarette with his head tilted up on some stairs. As I was contemplating crossing to the other side of the street to avoid being asked for change, I had a change of heart, and stopped to see if I had a small bill and approached him with a dollar. He said all that he really needed was an ambulance, whereupon I realized that his head was bleeding from the temple and he had macerations above and below his eye. He had hit a bump in the pavement and had fallen out of his wheelchair. He was completely grateful when I took charge of his situation. EMS was dispatched and came to the scene quickly, and I saw Mr. Urquart off with them.


The whole thing renewed my sense of purpose and also my feelings toward spirituality. He had been there for 30 minutes and no one listened to him, bless his heart. I almost avoided the situation entirely. All my life, I have had a perhaps more pronounced sense of compassion and connection towards the homeless, and with age have distanced myself from the outreach that was once part of my life. I feel very positive about becoming a nurse, and very lucky to have the opportunity to do so, because I think I will find great fulfillment in the field.

Want and Waiting

Earlier in the day while I was out on my errands, I thought of this Florence and the Machine song. I've been listening to her album Lungs quite a bit, but haven't listened in maybe a week or so, and immediately all I wanted to do was go on a jog and zone out to it.

Well, last night I burnt my mouth pretty severely on some fried beets, making eating extremely painful, and I am out of coffee at home-without coffee in the morning, the day does NOT get going. This meant I needed to find some coffee for the morning and also some food I could swallow; I did so, all the while looking forward to my run with Florence.

When the time had finally come, I was so happy. I got going but my knee didn't feel right. I kept going, but IT HURT. I had to stop. Such a minor bummer, really, but, not getting your way is a hard thing to accept, especially when your mind is set---how do I  change gears with charm?

I began thinking about more major dreams than an afternoon jog that don't materialize and I felt overcome by a sense of how much I DO have to be grateful for.

Learning to gracefully have patience in times when I am in want is something I am working on. I wonder if with age and wisdom it will ever become easier?

I know that in our 20's, it is an issue which we all battle. If anyone has anything that they hold to to make waiting easier, enlightenment is welcomed.

The one that comes to mind for me is:
"The girl that's worthwhile is the girl who can smile when everything goes dead wrong"

Growing

One of my biggest blessings this month was joining Leigh Vallely's pilates studio. (She is the woman in this video)


Its been almost a year since I have taken a course in the arts, and I had forgotten how much I thrive in that kind of an environment. I pretty much idolize the owner of the studio. She teaches some of the classes. When she gives me any praise I get so happy and think about it again and again through out the week. It makes me want to grow, grow, grow.


She was taking a class on Wednesday that I attended and she was on the mat besides me (not teaching). As I watched her move out of my peripheral I felt overwhelmed by reverence, admiration, and maybe even fear...it was amazing. She is really inspiring.


From the get go, I felt pretty intimidated by her (and still am)-probably because she has this amazing body, a nice and cool voice and is just very composed and neat. But the coolest part about her is that she is SO NICE. So, I shouldn't be that intimidated, but I am.


It's nice to have people to look up to. I have many, and I am glad to have found another in my life.


I hope to be a part of the advanced class within the next six months. Practice makes perfect :)

I want to live like an old fashioned human: Part Deux

As was the case this very time, one year ago, my facebook account is deactivated. 

I found the coincidence of the timing rather funny, but I think for me this time of year has always been about preparing to leave for summer camp, where I would become my most centered self, and the way to finding that center was by giving things up, and getting closer to nature and farther from materials. 

While I am by no means living like a monk right now, I am prioritizing time for quiet and meditation, and am trying to accept and really enjoy my time to myself and make the best of my every hour, every day. 

Disconnecting can be oh so liberating. I love the hours in my day when I leave my phone either at home or in the car during dinner. The world is such a bizarre place. My feelings on the times in which we are living are certainly ambivalent. 

But, Katie Hill- I don't think the world is ending-so let's look for the LIGHT :)

TyBeccaBlake Productions

A couple years ago, two of my closest friends, Blake Orsini and Tyonce Moore and I came to a realization that united we were quite the triumvirate, and established the name TyBeccaBlake for ourselves as group. Well, we have big news to announce!

We are becoming film makers! I present to you our first production. The three of us collaborated together for the vision on Cinco de Mayo over some Mexican Flag beverages, and then on Mothers day we got together and Blake shot Tyonce. I did the job as editor/producer.

We have best wishes for Tyonce to be cast on Ru Paul's Drag Race, but no matter the outcome, we know that big things are in store for her, and that whatever happens will be for the best. As TyBeccaBlake says: "GO BIG OR GO HOME"...and one thing's always certain: we are not going home, no siree.

WANTED: Scary Movie Reccommendations

My mother introduced me to my favorite scary movie of all time: "Wait Until Dark" years ago. Ever since, nothing has been able to match up. A Perfect Murder, Dial M for Murder, and Rear Window have come close. This year I have been looking for a new contester. Travis and I have watched Hitchcock's Rebecca and Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians. Both we good movies. 

My favorite type of scary movie is a realistic, suspenseful (and hopefully artistic) murder mystery.

 Horror, Sci Fi, Zombies, Demons, Guts, Gore, Mocumentaries, etc. don't really keep my attention. 

Any Suggestions?

" Hmm... the only thing buzzing in my head right now that i highly recommend is American Psycho cuz I just watched it last night and its one of my favorites. Not particularly "scary" but definitely creepy, a good amount of gore and just outstanding dialogue. I remember being scared by the movies The Others, Bad Seed (1956), silence of the lambs, 28 days later, and... honestly, Jaws scares the pants off me everytime. As for Hitchcock, try watching Rear Window or Suspicion. "

- from my friend, Melissa

A Sunday Surprise :)

Today my beau brought me a special treat. These precious little pumpkins. The white one is a "Baby Boo" and the orange one is a "Junior Jack". Aren't they cuties?

Love Story

I really enjoyed this short film/ advertisement that I came across online. It's so pretty. I hope you like it too!

Life, the Good and the Bad

This is a poem that was written in 2007

LIFE: the good the bad
Earl grey tea
Food that is free
A walk by the sea
Tex mex
Being called “becks”
Receiving a text

My grandma’s hands
Working on a tan
That predators drive white vans
Visiting a new town
Judson wearing a gown
That Gillian’s mom was a clown
A really sharp, fine point pen
John chris and jenny—scott and lynn
Cheese pizza with crust that is thin
The smell of freshly cut grass
Where you sit on the first day of class
That in NewYork, I don’t have to buy gas
Being passed up by the police
learning about the birds and the bees
That one day I’ll have a niece
Not having to be in a hurry
Little animals, as they scurry
Realizing that there’s no reason to worry
Kelly is allergic to dairy
Our best babysitter, her name was Carrie
Jenny said "eww" at "Madison Shoshanna Larry"
Bapa loved brain teasers
Leslie gave me a slip for easter
It’s in my jeans to be a people pleaser
A Silky dress with nice luster
Good times at Dave and Busters
How I ever got the the concept of polymer structures
checking the last thing off my list
when kids call the teacher “miss”
when cynthia’s boyfriend played "gorillas in the mist"
someone doing a switch leap
the feeling you have when you’re in a a jeep
I know at easter there will be peeps
Thankgod it’s out of style to dress like a peasant
And I’m thankful that I’m not from mount pleasant
Christmas eve we went to toy’s r us because mom forgot to buy my present
I felt so proud when I made my fist meringue pie
I’ve grown a little mole on the inside of my thigh
When the whole family took a trip to best buy
Watching youtubes in pater’s bed
Ooops...we grew up chewing on lead
Camp mystic
The shape of my mother’s lipstick
This dance the older girls did to the song “whip it”
The time that mom got pulled over and we got McDonalds, instead of a ticket
Doing my best
Maggie and my eating contest
Anna loves America’s expansion west
Amiga’s excitement when I fill her bowl
When I finally learned how to use charcoal
When my mother reads me “Bambi” en espanol
The word mess hall
When Mom was hello dolly in the charity ball
It must be a funny view at a dance if you’re real tall
When I can have more
Being comfy with being a bore
When the rockets score
When cassidy pooped on my floor '
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
Watching people play tether
The way I feel depends on good weather
That my mom and dad got back together
Meredith’s atomic bleached blonde hair
watching the world shrink as I ascend in the air
finding a group that will play truth or dare
when I actually get somewhere early
the character on lost, that is hurley
when landrie’s hair is curly curly
funny designs on tacky lighters
That my jeans used to be tighter
The punchiness that comes with an all nighter
Being a Tonkawa means being true
and mary liz gives me her old shoes
That my biggest competition was in a canoe
Waking up to birds that sing
When Stephanie and I were ching and ling
That someone thought I had a promise ring
When people get along
Finding my new favorite song
That people spend a bunch of $$ on breakable bongs
Finding a dandelion or anything of luck
Reaching in my jeans and finding a buck
That my only detention was for my shirt being untucked
Waiting on my tea to steep
When I cannot CANNOT fall asleep
Or watching someone as they weep
Name and City dropping
Having to pee while I’m shopping
When some people just won’t stop talking
Credit cards, phones--things that I lose
Seeing an animal that’s been abused
Storing a number that I know I won’t use
When your roommates steal your tide
When you have an asshole tour guide
Or keeping something from a friend, because she wont take my side
That I can’t have a dog
That I realized that I love egg nog
That I ever feigned interest in playing pogs
When I’m bad about saving a dime
The morning after having too much wine
When I can’t be 2 places at the same time
Being talked to like I’m not smart
Spending a year with someone with a blackened heart
And that some people live out of a cart
skinning your knee
when my parents find out I got an overdraft fee
that a distant cousin couldn’t be a coast guard because he’s allergic to bees
when I’m asked to do math on the spot
when someone looses their job to a silly robot
when I accidentally consume something that’s too hot
not getting a seat on the train
to think of a loved one that’s in pain
not remembering someone’s name
sitting next to a chatty kathy on a plane*
when the alarm’s waking you up from the neighbor's room
that someone decided to make the Oklahoma city building go BOOM
that the swiffer thinks it can replace the broom
that I will probably not be able to be mummified in a tomb
life looks up and sometimes down
but something good is always around
if you look it will be found
for in this world beauty abounds

*line has been edited due to the public domain of the internet

Celebrity Crush

These are the top 2 actors that I would most want to make out with.  I know that Jason Schwartzman is married though, so whoops.  I don't think that Zach Galifinakis is married. But I am sure he has a lady. I am frequently asked what "my type" is. I am 100% of the time speechless when asked that question. I guess I'll start answering "a hybrid of Jason Schwartzman-Zach-Galifianakis?"

They just seem like such nice company.

T-Shirt

This is my all time, favorite T-shirt, and piece of clothing, for that matter. If it were to disappear, I would be devastated. It is a souvenir from one of the best nights of my life, which was spent with my dear Jenny Frizzell at Super Happy Fun Land in Houston Texas. That's about all I can say about that night on the internet. The shirt does not have any armhole seams. It is the first shirt that I wear every time that I do the laundry. It's funny because every time I wear it, I am usually complimented, and it's a shirt with a smiley face with blood dripping out of the mouth. It was originally a more vibrant green. I hope I have this shirt as long as I will be friends with Jenny Frizzell, because that's one everlasting love. 

Hammer

In life, sometimes it's funny that right when you feel like you're figuring stuff out, you find yourself faced with a new and unpredictable challenge. 

I recently discovered that the best time to visit my best friend, Hank at his nursing home is 3:30 because that's when he's gone back to bed to rest up for dinner at 5. It's a good time because it allows us privacy, and in that privacy I find myself more open to talk freely, and when we are outside, it feels like people are listening, and I become more reserved. 

I began a little design project recently to decorate Hank's walls, and yesterday when I went to hang some things up on the walls, I discovered that last week, a new room mate was placed in Hank's room, where he has now been living for 5 years. Over the years, there are just 2 other roommates, that I remember. One never left his bed, and did not have the skills to communicate with people. He would make quite a bit of noise, but it was never much of a problem. 

Another room mate of Hank's was Bill Bade, and he was such a sweetheart. He was a ray of sunshine and very frail, but did his best to live as actively as he could. He had a big part in inspiring Hank to transition from being bedridden to getting out of bed and going outside, and for that, I will always consider Bill an angel. He pushed Hank to live a happier life. He was great. His power to encourage those around him changed my life. When I found out that he had passed, it broke my heart. Bless him for his good deeds and spirit.  

I was offering Hank a muffin when I heard noise from behind the fabric room divider (like a shower curtain). I asked Hank if he had a new room mate and motioned to Hank, asking him if I he was "all there", and if it was a good idea to say Hi and introduce myself. Hank gave me the go-ahead, and I went over and he asked me for some chips so I gave him a muffin. From that point on, Hank and I had a situation on our hands, and we both knew it. 

Nicholas is the man's name, and Nicholas, it turns out, is not all there. He can't stop talking, bless his heart. I tried to think of what to do. He just kept talking about money, money money, and Columbus Texas, and a motel and then back to money money money. I politely tried telling him that I was here to visit Hank, and that we needed some privacy, but I don't think he heard. Hank's voice was weakened in his accident, and although he is completely understandable now, thanks to lots of effort on his part, his voice is not as loud as it once was. I could hear Hank saying in a real confident and manly way "excuse me", like he was going to handle the situation, but Nicholas was not hearing it. Hank kept repeating himself, but it was of no use. Then I saw Hank reach for the hammer that lay at his side. I looked at him with big eyes and we had a little laugh. Then I upped my aggressiveness a notch and spoke to Nicholas as if I was the boss, and he went back to his side of the room, apologizing. I felt so mean. 

It happened a few more times, and finally I went to go and get a nurse for some help, because Nicholas was not understanding that I was there to visit Hank, and catch up. A nurse that I did not recognize, came up and helped me before I had to ask for help. He sternly told Nicholas to go get ready for dinner. That was a relief. But then I heard Nicholas threaten to kill the nurse. The nurse told me that he was new at the care center, but at his previous job, he worked with Nicholas at the looney bin. Great, I thought to myself. This is just great. 

It was pretty ironic, because 2 nights before, I had mentioned that my friend, Hank, was in a nursing home, and someone apologized to me. I responded by telling him not to apologize, and optimistically told him that it was not the best life, but it was a life that is worth being thankful for. I wanted to take back every word during this visit. 

One of Hank's traits that I most admire is that he does not waste any time with idle complaints. He is very positive. I have learned a lot from the way that he handles what is dealt to him. Everything is always okay, or that's how he presents it to me. That was also one of my Grandpa Van's most amazing qualities, which I will always remember them both for. 

When Nicholas was finally in the dining hall, and we found ourselves alone, I had a special moment with Hank. We looked at each other and we knew that we were thinking all the same things. It was as if there was no need to have any words about it. He took my hand and said to me "thank you for being the person that you are". It was such a nice thing to hear. The sentiment is definitely mutual. 

I know that everything is going to be okay with Nicholas and Hank being room mates, but it's a challenge for me to embrace the situation with optimism. I wish my visits to Hank were more frequent, but I have come to just let myself be okay with doing the best that I can do. When I am there, nothing is more important to me, than being completely present, and Nicholas' distractions stretch my patience.

Luckily I know that challenges are an opportunity for growth, and I will embrace this as an opportunity for learning. I am lucky that Hank is as mature and patient and understanding as he is, because we are going to be in this together, and I am confident that he will be positive with me. It's got to be the only way to go about it. This experience reminds me of the value of surrounding yourself with people who have positive energy and outlook. If Hank was not the positive person that he is, this could really be hard, but I know it's going to be okay. 

If anyone has any words of inspiration, I would welcome with appreciation. 

a great start? check.

My first 10 days of summer were so much fun, that it's hard for me to believe there is still more to come.

From Saturday May 15- Saturday May 22, I visited loved ones in 7 cities in 7 days.

It went like this:
15-16. Katie and David in Fredericksburg
16. Mary and Packy in Kerrville
16. Avery in Hunt
16. Back to Austin
17. Austin with Maggie and Karen
18.  Holly, Margot, and Stella in Waco
19. Kait Caldwell (soon to be Gish) in Houston
20-22. Del Rio House both with The Edward and Mary Liz Eastland Family and Friends

It was the best week I could imagine; filled with wonderful and inspiring people that mean the world to me. There's one more week of vacation left, but I am going to stay right here and work on my big to-do list before school starts.

cassidy

Honoring a commitment is something that I believe in. I realized its importance sometime in college when my dad told me straightforwardly, that if you say you're going to do something, you should keep your word. I have always remembered that, because he said it so firmly; I knew that he believed what he was saying, and lived accordingly.


In my daily life, my top commitments are to my school, to Weezie, and to my health. Subsequently, there is no certainty of who I will see (Weezie, excluded) on a weekly basis, outside of school. Or bi-weekly, or monthly. However, there is one exception, which I consider to be a tremendous blessing. She is Cassidy.


12 weeks ago, I made a commitment to taking semi private, weekly pilates classes from my best friend from highschool, Cassidy. I take with another best friend, Karen, too. If I am in town, I am there, and I love that I have the class in my life, and that I see Cassidy (and Karen) at a certain time, at a certain place, on a certain day, every week.  Something about order is just so comforting. I look forward to that class all week.


Well, I love Cassidy, and I want to tell you one of the reasons why.
We have a maybe 2 or 3 quick side stories during our lessons every week. They are not time consuming, just quick moments of relief, and provide a small distraction to our minds, from the burn in our gleutes. Cassidy's story today had me dying.


Take in mind, some details about Cassidy:
While I would not call her shy, she is not at all overly wordy. No one would ever think to call Cassidy loud or anything like that. Very down to earth, and grounded. Non-judgemental and open minded, and interested in what people have to say.


So anyway, yesterday, her husband, John had some returns to do at American Apparel. Some of you may not be familiar with the chain retail store, but it's very trendy, and popular. While American Apparel is a store that caters equally to men and women, their ads feature women exclusively, and are many of them are quite provocative and risque. So, Cassidy is in there browsing, and one of their ads caught her eye. I have not seen the said photograph, but Cassidy claims that it features a model's vagina. Cassidy felt upset to see this image and here is how she responded:


 She took the ad in her hand and she marched up to the counter and said: "this is disgusting. Do you see this?! this is her vagina. I can't believe this. This is degrading to women. You all oughtta be ashamed of this." and then she walked out.


To me, this seems both oddly, totally in character of Cassidy, but also VERY shocking. I mean, that's some prime material. You don't see people my age doing this kind of thing on a normal basis. And "normal" people my age, saying this kind of stuff. She went on with the story, saying that "poor John was still in the middle of the returns" when she went all crazy on them. And she said "those poor hipster girls" probably had no idea what to do or say. Apparently, the employees were defending the photo by saying "it was just the lighting" that made it look like genitalia. Oh man, I have got to see this photo.


She also noted that the worst ( but the best, in my opinion) part of all of it was that she kept repeating herself, in her outrage.


I just want to say that I feel what Cassidy did was respectable. To believe in something, is a beautiful thing. I want people in my life that think things, and think them hard. To the point where they are outraged when that thing is violated. This story, written, may make Cassidy sound judgemental, but this was not in that spirit. Her words were not  spoken out of judgement, just out of the ideals that she holds for the culture in which she lives. Jokingly, i told Cassidy that tomorrow I want to go in there and try to completely replay her reaction to the ad, just to have a little fun. Maybe I will, just for the experience saying something to a stranger with such passion. I think that the way she is living is how I want to live too. To respect the gift of a voice, by letting it be heard. I love this quote by Abraham Lincoln:


"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men. "


Cassidy may not change American Apparel's marketing campaigns, but I'd like to think that she may have enlightened the viewpoint of someone present for this exchange. I don't care that much about what it is that you particularly believe in, whether its in unicorns, or your imaginary friend, or whatever. But I hope that my friends recognize their beliefs. Believing is a symptom of love, I think, so when you believe in something it's a sign of a good life.


While I don't know if I find the photo immoral, I do find the photo to be indecent. I do find its place in such a mainstream (American Apparel certainly would not be happy to know that they are considered by some to be "mainstream"), successful and popular store to be evidence of a lost and broken culture. When I think about the photo, I disagree with its subtext. My pure gut reaction to what she saw will always be a mystery now, but I do find vicarious happiness in her freedom and assurance to be bold and say how she felt.


The world is a better place because of people like Cassidy, and I consider myself a lucky one to have her scheduled in my life, once a week. Its good for me.


And I am glad that someone of my generation is so bold to "give a care"; it makes me feel good about us.


I'll leave you with Honest Abe's other quote on silence, that makes me question this blog's existence. 


'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." 

Ramen Veggie Delight

We all know that veggies are good for us; "eat your vegetables" has been pounded into our brains since we were babies. But, sometimes its easier said than done. Am I right?

Getting plenty of good produce requires going to the grocery store more often, and once you've made the mistake of letting good food go to waste, it's easy to prevent that from happening again by just not buying fresh food. That's a mistake, if you ask me.  I avoid letting good food spoil by keeping a running list on the front of my fridge of the fresh produce inside, which is a reminder every time I go to the fridge of what's inside, since sometimes I forget what's in there if it's not visible. And once I eat a food, I cross it off the list. It's a lot easier way to check something off a list than going to dry cleaners or writing a thank you note, too! 

I'm a girl on the go, and most of my foods that I make for myself have to be made quick. This is one of my favorite quick ways to prepare veggies. 

Step one: 

Start ipod, and Chop 'em and start boiling about an inch of water on the stove.

Step 2:

 Place colander on top of boiling water and place veggies inside. It's a good idea to start chopping the vegetables that require a longer cooking time first and get them steaming first and then add in the veggies that cook faster. Here's a list of what I start out with first to last:

Carrots

Broccoli and Cauliflower

 Squash 

Asparagus

Mushrooms

Step 3:

There's usually not enough room for the mushrooms, so I just throw 'em in the water at the last minute

Step 4:

Then I open up a 10 cent Ramen packet with the flavoring of my choice

(it's sorta funny at the grocery store to check out at the register with a bunch of healthy food and a bunch of ramen)

 

Step 5:

I take a bite out of the noodles and discard them

 

Step 6:

I pour the flavor packet in the bowl

(hold your breath if you want to tell me that's 85% of my daily recommended sodium)

Step 7:

I pour in my veggies and add some water

And voila! A yummy dish of filling veggies! Ready in about 15 minutes! 

Step 9: Start chompin'